Self Journey

As always, it has been a while! I am happy to say that I have actually been sticking to drawing regularly more than I have in the past couple of years, and it has been really great for me. I have been practicing watercolor and getting more serious about learning new techniques and figuring out my style with it. I would like to create another blogpost entirely on this subject, so I'll try to keep it brief. As I tend to do, I mix many brands and just go with the flow. The top image is my latest piece that I did a couple of days ago. I have been inspired by artists like Alisa Vysochina and Leigh Ellexson. Their work is so beautiful and they are such lovely people. It has been a struggle getting back on that horse, but I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with my art. There's a lot I could write on this subject, maybe one day I will. I feel happy with my work and I'm excited to continue! I have been updating my Instagram and my Tumblr regularly with my art, I guess it's mostly because they're the easiest to update with! I had left both abandoned for a while and I'm actually posting there again, so please have a look! I am currently figuring out a way to take better photos of my work to post them up <3

Along with traditional media, I have been practicing my digital art skills with my iPad Pro. This is something new I'm trying to teach myself as well. I try to draw every day with either medium to get some practice in. I'm learning a lot about myself in the process! By not concentrating so much on developing a style, I have found myself developing one. Last year I feel like I concentrated very hard on that and while I was drawing regularly, I felt like my work felt a bit alien to me. This year has been more about exploration and risks. 

I had to decide to renew my Squarespace. I felt sad knowing that I don't update as much as I used to and maybe I should stop trying to make this happen. To be honest with you, I'm not exactly sure what "this" is. I have started really thinking about what it is I'm trying to accomplish here. So many wonderful artists online have dreams about becoming freelancers, animators, Illustrators, etc. and I think to myself, what is it that I am actually trying to accomplish? I have been reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and it is helping me find some peace about this entire thought process. I have selfish reasons for continuing to draw. I don't want to become an animator and I have drawn for other people in the past in terms of books, projects and web design. It was all fun and I wonder if I'll ever have enough time to take on more projects like those, but I enjoy drawing for myself and displaying my work. I like writing about my work and my process. Now I have to decide if this website is worth keeping. I love my space. I designed it from scratch. I made all the graphics, organized everything and love having it on display. I use it as a sort of portfolio, as well. I'm still figuring out who I am, what I like and what I need in order to be happy. So I'm going to continue on this journey! I want to regularly update and work on so many more things and share it all on here. I'm planning many things, so please stay tuned!

Getting Back Into It

Can you tell that I've been obsessing over buns lately? I love how some of my favorite artists draw them and wanted to actually give them a try with my own art! I also got the chance to ry out some of my gold watercolors last night with that second piece. Pocky and Pills is based off of someone I had a dream with recently and wanted to try to put it down into paper. I'm very happy with how it came out! I guess pastels are just going to stay with my style. The first one is called Figure.09 mostly because I was listening to some good old Linkin' Park while drawing it. My boss gave me a new nib for my Apple Pencil this morning and I wanted to try it out! The more I use my iPad Pro for art the more I love it. I was able to easily get down a drawing without thinking too hard about it! I hope you guys like them!

Summer Reading and Updates

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THIS TENDENCY TO COME HERE ONE A MONTH AND JUST HAVE THE URGE TO WRITE. But I come with some art updates! I had the privilege of designing some summer reading postcards for my school and I just handed them in! I hope they get printed, but even if they don't I think I'm going to print them out on my own, anyway. I tried to mix my new style with a style I've always been comfortable with for both and I love the outcome! I have always loved the flat lay design in photos so I wanted to try my hand at drawing it. I really love the result.

Miss you when you're gone

Hello everyone! I figured I could write on here since it has been a while. What you see above is a picture I was planning on putting up as a "10 Things About Me" for Youtube but I look at it now and I'm like "uh, no." So I want to make something new before I upload that video. I wanted to put it up last week but I figured I would rather put up something I'm really proud of instead of just getting up there as fast as possible. I can do better, so I will.

How has everyone been? I have been making it a mission of mine to draw every single day, even if it's a sketch. It has been going well, but I'm trying to move forward from sketches and have more full-color sketches instead, if not an actual illustration. I guess it has been proving to be difficult with the limited time I have been having. I'm also trying to mix what I do so it's not just in my sketchbook. I have been enjoying working with my iPad Pro more often with sketches lately. Not that I'm posting anywhere, really. Except I'm trying to do it here more often.

House organizing has been a main priority for me! Josh and I are working hard to make the house fit right for both of us and it has been a great way to get my mind off of things. We have a yard now and we have to figure things out like... plants and gardening and stuff. ADULT THINGS? Well, yeah. One of my personal projects has been my office. I think the layout and what's in there changes every month, but that's because I'm trying to figure it out! I have brought over my artwork boxes from previous years and it is such a pleasure having them in my room ;-; I have dreamed of having them with me and open and available for me to go through whenever I want. I haven't really had that since I lived at my family home. When I need some inspiration I like to leaf through the boxes and find some old artwork. I have been doing that a bit more, lately. I found some real gems!

A personal project I have been trying to accomplish is to wear more clothes that I'm comfortable with. I know I have mentioned it on here before, but it's still a work in progress. As much as I love makeup, I love going makeup free and feeling more comfortable with myself. 

Daily life has been going. Josh and I make our time together an adventure and we like to mix up fun and responsibilities as much as we can. The other day we went into the city and decided to just go exploring. We haven't done that in a long time, and we had a lot of fun. We had macarons, went to art stores and splurged a bit. We tried the unicorn frap (I didn't like it, he was ok with it)! 

We have also been cleaning out his grandma's house and have been finding some real treasures from a long time ago. We found journals from the early 1900's and some penmanship to aspire to. We were fortunate enough to grab some furniture from her house to put in our own. Our house has furniture that has been passed down in my family and now some furniture from his grandma, including a model ship his grandpa made. We haven't been there a year yet but it really does feel like our home more and more. 

I keep this blog for fun, and to have a place to put my art. The feeling of "not being good enough" is starting to loom over me and I admit it has been a bit difficult to get through it. Going through my old artwork didn't exactly help. I really love what I did previous years. I can see how much I loved drawing and didn't care about putting it up or showing anyone besides my friends. I have had some really inspiring friends that always kept me going and gave me so much support over the years. Seeing what I created is inspiring but also a little overwhelming. I can't draw nearly as much now but whenever I do draw I just feel like it will never be up to par with my expectations. I know, I know, me and every artist in the world. I'm just feeling down about it, lately. I have some work from my friends mixed in with my own in those art boxes and seeing what they created at the same age gives me that same conflicting feeling. Inspired, but down. I can't help compare myself to others because I want my art to be just as good! I want to be just as successful! I have to keep going, I guess. 

The other thing I used to do so much of was write. I have binders worth of my writing since 2003. Like I mean, thick bunches of paper with every college ruled line filled. I never could have imagined back then that I would find these stories again at my age and read them with a red face. 

I was proud of myself, and I still am. Those boxes are filled with pure love. Love for what I did, love for my characters and love for my fandoms (CHEEEEEESY)! I want to be like that again. I'm so happy I saved everything the way I did. I have math and science notes from when I started high school filled with doodles and sketches and I remember what went through my head back then. It's crazy that I'm now teaching students that age about art and how to draw! It was like seeing little Deanna through a window and what a terrible student she was, haha!

I don't know if many people read my blog. I'm grateful is you do. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I don't typically get this personal and introspective in entries. I guess these thoughts are nagging at me and I'm unsure of what to do with them. Just keep going, going.

Cherriuki Crystal Heart Art Book Unboxing

Hello again! I have been very quiet these past couple of months across all my platforms, I have to admit I was in a bit of a funk. I'm getting back into my daily life and am excited to be putting up a new video on my channel! I received Cherriuki's Sailor Moon art book in the mail yesterday and I was just so excited about it I was inspired to create another video. It's nice to be back on my channel, I have wanted to update it more frequently but the inspiration just suddenly stopped... throughout. But I'm proud of this video! I see some mistakes I would like to fix for next time and I learn a lot every time I film. I'm very excited to get the next video out, I'm already drafting it all out.