Miss you when you're gone

Hello everyone! I figured I could write on here since it has been a while. What you see above is a picture I was planning on putting up as a "10 Things About Me" for Youtube but I look at it now and I'm like "uh, no." So I want to make something new before I upload that video. I wanted to put it up last week but I figured I would rather put up something I'm really proud of instead of just getting up there as fast as possible. I can do better, so I will.

How has everyone been? I have been making it a mission of mine to draw every single day, even if it's a sketch. It has been going well, but I'm trying to move forward from sketches and have more full-color sketches instead, if not an actual illustration. I guess it has been proving to be difficult with the limited time I have been having. I'm also trying to mix what I do so it's not just in my sketchbook. I have been enjoying working with my iPad Pro more often with sketches lately. Not that I'm posting anywhere, really. Except I'm trying to do it here more often.

House organizing has been a main priority for me! Josh and I are working hard to make the house fit right for both of us and it has been a great way to get my mind off of things. We have a yard now and we have to figure things out like... plants and gardening and stuff. ADULT THINGS? Well, yeah. One of my personal projects has been my office. I think the layout and what's in there changes every month, but that's because I'm trying to figure it out! I have brought over my artwork boxes from previous years and it is such a pleasure having them in my room ;-; I have dreamed of having them with me and open and available for me to go through whenever I want. I haven't really had that since I lived at my family home. When I need some inspiration I like to leaf through the boxes and find some old artwork. I have been doing that a bit more, lately. I found some real gems!

A personal project I have been trying to accomplish is to wear more clothes that I'm comfortable with. I know I have mentioned it on here before, but it's still a work in progress. As much as I love makeup, I love going makeup free and feeling more comfortable with myself. 

Daily life has been going. Josh and I make our time together an adventure and we like to mix up fun and responsibilities as much as we can. The other day we went into the city and decided to just go exploring. We haven't done that in a long time, and we had a lot of fun. We had macarons, went to art stores and splurged a bit. We tried the unicorn frap (I didn't like it, he was ok with it)! 

We have also been cleaning out his grandma's house and have been finding some real treasures from a long time ago. We found journals from the early 1900's and some penmanship to aspire to. We were fortunate enough to grab some furniture from her house to put in our own. Our house has furniture that has been passed down in my family and now some furniture from his grandma, including a model ship his grandpa made. We haven't been there a year yet but it really does feel like our home more and more. 

I keep this blog for fun, and to have a place to put my art. The feeling of "not being good enough" is starting to loom over me and I admit it has been a bit difficult to get through it. Going through my old artwork didn't exactly help. I really love what I did previous years. I can see how much I loved drawing and didn't care about putting it up or showing anyone besides my friends. I have had some really inspiring friends that always kept me going and gave me so much support over the years. Seeing what I created is inspiring but also a little overwhelming. I can't draw nearly as much now but whenever I do draw I just feel like it will never be up to par with my expectations. I know, I know, me and every artist in the world. I'm just feeling down about it, lately. I have some work from my friends mixed in with my own in those art boxes and seeing what they created at the same age gives me that same conflicting feeling. Inspired, but down. I can't help compare myself to others because I want my art to be just as good! I want to be just as successful! I have to keep going, I guess. 

The other thing I used to do so much of was write. I have binders worth of my writing since 2003. Like I mean, thick bunches of paper with every college ruled line filled. I never could have imagined back then that I would find these stories again at my age and read them with a red face. 

I was proud of myself, and I still am. Those boxes are filled with pure love. Love for what I did, love for my characters and love for my fandoms (CHEEEEEESY)! I want to be like that again. I'm so happy I saved everything the way I did. I have math and science notes from when I started high school filled with doodles and sketches and I remember what went through my head back then. It's crazy that I'm now teaching students that age about art and how to draw! It was like seeing little Deanna through a window and what a terrible student she was, haha!

I don't know if many people read my blog. I'm grateful is you do. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I don't typically get this personal and introspective in entries. I guess these thoughts are nagging at me and I'm unsure of what to do with them. Just keep going, going.

Cherriuki Crystal Heart Art Book Unboxing

Hello again! I have been very quiet these past couple of months across all my platforms, I have to admit I was in a bit of a funk. I'm getting back into my daily life and am excited to be putting up a new video on my channel! I received Cherriuki's Sailor Moon art book in the mail yesterday and I was just so excited about it I was inspired to create another video. It's nice to be back on my channel, I have wanted to update it more frequently but the inspiration just suddenly stopped... throughout. But I'm proud of this video! I see some mistakes I would like to fix for next time and I learn a lot every time I film. I'm very excited to get the next video out, I'm already drafting it all out.

Little My Chatter Wednesday

I feel like my blog is becoming a place where I just update about my life and I guess I'm ok with that. I've been trying to venture into other platforms with my artwork and my blog has always been a mix of professional and "update" stuff, so here you go. Last week was Valentine's Day! Josh and I decided to actually make something for each other as our main gift for the first time because we wanted to see how it would go and I think it went really well!

I had been planning out my gift for him since the middle of January and the idea evolved a lot before I finally settled on something. I originally wanted to create a little booklet from a deck of cards filled with reasons why I love him. I saw the idea on Youtube and thought it was super cute! I wanted to put my own flair to it and from there it evolved into what I actually made for him. Instead of the deck of cards, I got blank cardstock and drew 14 thank you cards for him. I just wanted to get a blank pink deck of cards but I just couldn't find one I liked! Then I wanted to actually draw a little something on them and couldn't do it on glossy cards anyway so... I went with this. I love experimenting with my style when it comes to making gifts for Josh so I tried a couple of new things. I took a more simple approach and tried to make each card look like something someone would get for a loved one from the store. I think some came out better than others Ė†Ė†; Each card is decorated with Washi tape and has a custom note to him on the back. I wrapped them all together with some string and included some candy hearts <3 I try to make something better for him than the last time and I'm really proud of this one! 

Josh really surprised me this year... After we said we wouldn't buy any gifts for each other, he still got me 36 roses delivered to my job and Godiva chocolate covered strawberries ;-; Along with a handmade card, he gave me a heart shaped container in a little Valentine's bag. I was like... what in the world could this be??? When I opened it I was still very confused. Then it all hit me at once. 

Lately I have been transfixed on slime videos on Instagram. I love watching the squish and the different types of slime people make. I honestly can't even explain it. I even like watching it be made! But I didn't try to hide this fact from Josh and he thought it was so weird! When I ordered some slime from Etsy to see if I would like it, he was even more perplexed and openly grossed out by the slime. He would make fun of me for it! So when I opened this little heart shaped container and inside was the red glittered slime that smelled like roses, I think tears came to my eyes and I involuntarily started laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. He was like "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU LIKE IT OR YOU HATE IT PLEASE TELL ME." I am so touched that he ventured so far as to create slime for me himself, especially one so perfect! I love it so much <3 We went to dinner with me still laughing in the car.

I have been trying my hardest to update my Sketchbook on here! I have been drawing more and trying some new things out and I'm really liking it! I have a drawing planned for my next video but I actually gotta... do it. But yeah, drawing has been going great. I'm leaning to enjoy it again just because and not because I need to post something somewhere. 

Right now I am in the middle of reading (listening to) Sophie Kinsella's new book "My Not So Perfect Life" and I am really enjoying it! It's one of those books that you enjoy getting cozy with and relish in the tiny details. She's one of my favorite authors so I got the book as soon as it was released. Other than that, I have been enjoying watching Baylee Jae and Taylor R's vlogs on Youtube <3 What have you been up to lately?

Unboxing Wacom Intuos Pro Paper Tablet Video

Ok so. Some of you may remember when I uploaded a video a while ago and I was like "I wanna be an Illustuber!" and then I quietly took it down about a month later because it just wasn't what I wanted it to be. Well, I have been wanting to start my Youtube channel for a while so I decided that this year I'm actually going to do it! So here you go, I filmed the unboxing of the new Wacom Intuos Pro Paper edition! I'm thinking about doing a first impressions with the tablet but I want to play around with it a little more. I literally unboxed this beauty yesterday so I'm still figuring this out. I hope you enjoy the video!

Little My Chatter

I have been enjoying sitting down and drawing as much as I can, lately. I think I said this in a previous post, but I just like saying it out loud. I didn't realize how long it has been since I really produced something I loved that was just for myself. I usually draw sketches for myself and if I'm drawing like a birthday picture or something for someone I have to give it away to them. It definitely helps that I've been restocking my art supplies since purging a couple of weeks ago. That's not to say my art drawer isn't any less bursting at the seams... but that just means I need more storage space! 

I have been trying to expand outside of simple sketching or trying out art supplies. I've been taking a lot of baby steps. I will always be astounded at how much time I dedicated to drawing when I was in school. Now that I'm ADULTING it's much harder, but I'm making it more of a priority this year (9*_*)9 So far so good! I have really been enjoying working with watercolors and mixing media. I recently drew Nao again and compared her to a drawing I did about six months ago and the difference is pretty staggering. It gives me hope T-T Onwards to creating more art!

Personal life wise, everything has been going swimingly. Josh and I had grown accustomed to staying in all weekend while living in the apartment and we want to change that! To be fair, we did that because we felt bad for leaving Hershel most of the day at home by himself, but the puppy-parent guilt has waned a bit and now we feel more comfortable going to a movie or getting dinner after work and having mini day trips every once in a while over the weekend. They have been really lovely! We certainly eat better food. Our favorite trip to take is to Mitsuwa which is about an hour away from us. We go there for food and shopping~ On our most recent trip I found a variety of sizes of the Pen-Tec pen I've been loving recently so it was an awesome find. We also made a trip to this store that was jam packed with Gundam and a few other figures. I found this Sonico figure and was instantly like NEED. But... I have no display case to put her in and I would be terrified of keeping her on my desk T-T Please Lord don't let me get back into figure collecting, I can't do that AND pine for luxury bags T-T It doesn't help that Josh has been actively starting his figure collecting career. BAH! 

I hope you have been having a wonderful week so far!